Comments on: The Ultimate Top 25 Chuck Norris “The Programmer” Jokes http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/ Ideas for building efficient developers and software Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:19:55 -0500 hourly 1 By: Andreas http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9867 Andreas Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:19:55 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9867 Chuck Norris doesn't pack files, they do it themselve. Chuck Norris doesn’t pack files, they do it themselve.

]]> By: rixthetrick http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9865 rixthetrick Thu, 11 Mar 2010 22:07:34 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9865 Not impressed by the "floppy" chuck created the "hard disk"! Not impressed by the “floppy” chuck created the “hard disk”!

]]> By: 17th Degree » Blog Archive » Happy Birthday Chuck Norris http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9864 17th Degree » Blog Archive » Happy Birthday Chuck Norris Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:45:04 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9864 [...] In honor of Chuck Norris turning 70 (70! can you believe it?!), I give you 25 Chuck Norris “Programmer” Jokes. [...] [...] In honor of Chuck Norris turning 70 (70! can you believe it?!), I give you 25 Chuck Norris “Programmer” Jokes. [...]

]]> By: Ultimate top 25 Chuck Norris programmer jokes « Life & Code http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9862 Ultimate top 25 Chuck Norris programmer jokes « Life & Code Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:29:12 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9862 [...] classic Chuck Norris Programmer Jokes will make your inner geek cackle with glee, and if you’re into continuous integration [...] [...] classic Chuck Norris Programmer Jokes will make your inner geek cackle with glee, and if you’re into continuous integration [...]

]]> By: Brian Beck http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9858 Brian Beck Tue, 02 Mar 2010 20:32:10 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9858 Chuck Norris eats steak for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But sometimes he forgets to kill the cow. Aliens do exist they are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die. Chuck Norris's version of a chocolate milkshake is a steak doused in diesel fuel, covered in chocolate, and the steak must be rare. Chuck Norris tells black jokes without looking over his shoulder. Chuck Norris eats steak for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But sometimes he forgets to kill the cow.

Aliens do exist they are just waiting for Chuck Norris to die.

Chuck Norris’s version of a chocolate milkshake is a steak doused in diesel fuel, covered in chocolate, and the steak must be rare.

Chuck Norris tells black jokes without looking over his shoulder.

]]> By: Tune Up Your PC » Post Topic » Is Chuck Norris on your software engineering team? http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9857 Tune Up Your PC » Post Topic » Is Chuck Norris on your software engineering team? Tue, 02 Mar 2010 06:05:26 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9857 [...] Max Pool: …“It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him, and he “Chuck the Geek” picture above. [...] [...] Max Pool: …“It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him, and he “Chuck the Geek” picture above. [...]

]]> By: Me http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9843 Me Fri, 12 Feb 2010 20:11:11 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9843 Chuck Norris doesn't practice agile programming because his programs won't ever need to be changed. They are perfect. There are no user interfaces that are not user friendly to chuck norris. He just stares at them till he gets what he wants. Chuck Norris doesn't know the help function. He never needs it. Chuck's PC doesn't need an anti-virus program. His PC is always virus free because viruses would be afraid to enter his PC. The best anti-virus technique is letting Chuck Norris come nearby. The viruses will go away by themselves. Chuck Norris doesn’t practice agile programming because his programs won’t ever need to be changed. They are perfect.

There are no user interfaces that are not user friendly to chuck norris. He just stares at them till he gets what he wants.

Chuck Norris doesn’t know the help function. He never needs it.

Chuck’s PC doesn’t need an anti-virus program. His PC is always virus free because viruses would be afraid to enter his PC.

The best anti-virus technique is letting Chuck Norris come nearby. The viruses will go away by themselves.

]]> By: Ameya Gargesh http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9840 Ameya Gargesh Mon, 08 Feb 2010 09:28:44 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9840 Just before you get the Blue Screen Of Death in windows you get a picture of Chuck Norris for a microsecond. This is called the Blue Screen Of Chuck and means that Chuck got to your computer before Gates' abomination did. This also proves that not even death is faster than Chuck. Gary Kasparov couldn't defeat Deep Blue in a chess game, Chuck stared at it for .01 second and the message I concede came up followed by a plea not to be roundhouse kicked. He roundhouse kicked it anyway. You can put the words "Chuck Norris" at the end of any line of code in any programming language in the world. Chuck can terminate anything he chooses not just lines of code. Chuck once wrote a statement on the console and pressed enter. Then flew into a rage and roundhouse kicked the computer growling, how dare you execute that line, I wasn't done with it yet. You don't need to mess with voltages and stuff to overclock a machine, you just show it a picture of Chuck Norris and the machine will overclock itself out of sheer fright. Chuck has a programming language all for himself, it is punctuated by punches and terminated by the Roundhouse kick. Just before you get the Blue Screen Of Death in windows you get a picture of Chuck Norris for a microsecond. This is called the Blue Screen Of Chuck and means that Chuck got to your computer before Gates’ abomination did. This also proves that not even death is faster than Chuck.

Gary Kasparov couldn’t defeat Deep Blue in a chess game, Chuck stared at it for .01 second and the message I concede came up followed by a plea not to be roundhouse kicked. He roundhouse kicked it anyway.

You can put the words “Chuck Norris” at the end of any line of code in any programming language in the world. Chuck can terminate anything he chooses not just lines of code.

Chuck once wrote a statement on the console and pressed enter. Then flew into a rage and roundhouse kicked the computer growling, how dare you execute that line, I wasn’t done with it yet.

You don’t need to mess with voltages and stuff to overclock a machine, you just show it a picture of Chuck Norris and the machine will overclock itself out of sheer fright.

Chuck has a programming language all for himself, it is punctuated by punches and terminated by the Roundhouse kick.

]]> By: Evert http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9835 Evert Thu, 04 Feb 2010 09:11:43 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9835 For all those of you who like SCRUM: All projects become Agile when Chuck Norris is looking. Chuck Norris has the shortest scrum meetings in town. There is only one person standing in a Chuck Norris scrum meeting. Stand-up meetings never work for Chuck Norris. Would you like to stand up to him? Chuck Norris never has a Backlog. It flies in stark terror when he starts telling Stories. Chuck Norris considers Sprints futile. He'll catch you anyway! Chuck Norris doesn't need a Sprint to hit his targets. It is not necessary to isolate Chuck Norris during a Sprint. No-one can keep up with him anyway. Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy. Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature. For all those of you who like SCRUM:

All projects become Agile when Chuck Norris is looking.

Chuck Norris has the shortest scrum meetings in town.

There is only one person standing in a Chuck Norris scrum meeting.

Stand-up meetings never work for Chuck Norris. Would you like to stand up to him?

Chuck Norris never has a Backlog. It flies in stark terror when he starts telling Stories.

Chuck Norris considers Sprints futile. He’ll catch you anyway!

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a Sprint to hit his targets.

It is not necessary to isolate Chuck Norris during a Sprint. No-one can keep up with him anyway.

Product Owners never ask Chuck Norris for more features. They ask for mercy.

Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.

]]> By: Manuel http://www.codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/#comment-9832 Manuel Thu, 28 Jan 2010 04:02:52 +0000 http://www.codesqueeze.com/?p=554#comment-9832 Chuck Norris can make void functions return a value Chuck norris can use VB in a Mac Windows does not ask chuk norris a password, chuck norris ask Windows for a password chuck norris doesnt need to use endif Chuck Norris can make void functions return a value
Chuck norris can use VB in a Mac
Windows does not ask chuk norris a password, chuck norris ask Windows for a password
chuck norris doesnt need to use endif

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