1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.
8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).
11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.
12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.
16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.
17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris.
18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm.
22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”.

Got any more? Comment them below…

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ROFL, I think I peed my pants laughing so hard. The truth is funny…

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Hug a developer – genius! Awesome work from Devshop…

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Off topic, but damn hilarious – Happy Friday.

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…that’s right people…

…we all knew this day was going to come…

…Phil Haack has finally started his world domination plan by stealing my thunder and using Codesqueeze Google SERPs as his launch pad.

As a result, I emailed Google support this mockup of what I feel the reindexing of haacked.com should appear as. Via la Resistance!

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Seriously…I don’t even know what to say…Doesn’t a new version of Cruise Control need to be built or something?

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Here are my Top 10 Reasons why I am happy to be staying at home:

10. The drinks are significantly cheaper in my closet

9.   I am not all that interested in computers, software, or the internet

8.   I despise gambling ever since I lost $200 last week playing blackjack

7.   Nothing ever good comes out of conferences but free swag

6.   I didn’t want to deprive my employer of sitting on his mountain of cash

5.   Keynotes by Guy Kawasaki are historical lame because he knows nothing about business or making money

4.   6.1° F is much better than 61° F

3.   The Blue Man Group scare me…with their fun…and music…and dancing…

2.   You don’t have to flash $100 bills to excite the strippers in Fargo, ND (they are happy you braved the weather to come out)

1.   The secretive altnetpursefight author and I can now finally hangout together in public without worrying about being seen

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